I know you’re all asking yourselves: “What do scientists at the Canadian
National Research Center write on bathroom stalls?” The question has plagued
me for as long as I can remember, the curiosity driving me mad with sleepless
nights.

Certainly they’d have come kind of clever scientific smut drawn on the walls
of the stall, enlightening and amusing their captive [...]

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It’s incredible how much crud a doorhandle can accumulate over a year’s time.
I don’t know how long the buildup on my particular door handle (it’s hardly a
knob, more like a lever) has been there for, but for some reason I noticed
the feel of it on my fingers today. So I got a dish scrubber and [...]

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It’s cold enough now here in Ottawa for me to feel a compulsion to don my old
green jacket and zip it halfway up… all the way when it’s -really- cold.
Nonetheless, today I noticed peculiar smell wafting from it’s leathery
depths.

My mom’s been trying to convince me to dump it for a while, she’s been trying
to push [...]

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