The only thing worse than being sick (with the flu!) is watching daytime
television. I’ve got
the morning off, and I figured I’d just crash on the couch in the sunlight
while I recuperated, but I had to turn the TV off. On the 180 channels I get
on digital cable, the only show vaguely entertaining was one where they pair
up men and women on a cruise and tape them on humiliating dates.

Every six minutes, though, they’d cut to commercials with beautiful women
telling me how their recurring herpes problems are over thanks to new
medications available at my drugstore, without having to talk to a
pharmacist. Then they go on to mention that I shouldn’t take Herpisol-Q or
whatever if I had a recent bone-marrow transplant, or if I have advanced HIV.
In either of those cases, you’d think a little itch and some cold sores would
be the least of your worries, anyhow.

Now, I’m aware that for lots of people, herpes is a horrible reality, and
that I should be thankful that medical science is coming up with treatments
for them, but I’d rather not see five herpes commercials in a row every
commercial break. Show me some dish soap ads! I’ll go out and buy some right
away!