So, tonight on TBS SuperStation they showed High Noon. I was all excited,
because High Noon is one of my favourite movies. This wasn’t the High Noon I
expected, though.

This was TBS Superstation’s High Noon, starring Tom Skerrit.

TOM SKERRIT!

Who the heck wakes up in the morning, pours themselves a bowl of cheerios,
and says to themselves: “Today, I think I’m going to butcher a peice of
classic American cinema.” I can understand wanting to re-make something in
your own image, but to go through all the cost of re-making a movie that’s
already been made, with incredibly low standards… with the same storyline
as the original… WHY!?!?

Since everyone’s doing it, and there are no more creative thoughts allowed
through the big golden doors of hollywood, I’ve decided that rather than
pursuing my own screenplay, I’m just going to remake something.

I think tomorrow morning, I’ll set down and draw out some plans to re-make
Star Wars. Jason Cobill’s Superstation Star Wars I’ll call it, and
it’ll star that VanderBeek guy from Dawson’s creek as a whiney young Luke
Skywalker out to find out the truth about his dad, Levar Burton. The rest of
the cast will be just whoever I can get off the street to fit into my
styrofoam “Stormguard” outfits. Maybe I can convice the Steve Erkel kid to
play Obiwan. Yeah! Yeah! This will be great!