I need to save you from watching bad movies!

Next: Meh. Ewww, Nicholas Cage and Jessica Biel as a couple. A quick check in IMDB shows that he’s nearly 20 years her senior – while Julianne Moore, who’s actually really intelligent, beautiful, two years older than him and deserves to be in a better movie, is ignored. The effects were kindof rough, and except for that landslide thing they did in the trailer, mostly uninteresting. The nuke was especially bad – the whole climax of the film looked like they drew on the film with markers while throwing flaming marshmallows at the camera.

The Day The Earth Stood Still: Underwhelming. The beginning started off great – oh no, a big spaceship with a giant robot attacking the city! But the overzealous secretary of defence character was totally cornball and the action sequences were weak. Most of the film is excruciatingly boring. John Cleese stole every scene he was in, he deserved to be in a better movie. Go watch the original 1954 version – THAT was awesome. Klaatu barada nikto!

The House Bunny: Completely Lame. I was sortof hoping for something redeeming from this movie – that it would send up the whole chauvanist Hefner mansion phenomenon and expose it as exagerated adolescent fantasy. I’ve worked on Anna Faris movies, and she’s very clever, so I had high expectations. Instead, we learned that geeky girls ought to show more cleavage and chase after imbecilic frat boys. The movie had cute moments – punctuated by long, lame, offensive makeover sequences. I had hoped for some clever “Real Genius” moments where the geek girls are shown to be spectacularly intelligent – which is way sexier than a bikini car wash. Total let down.

Starsky & Hutch: So Bad. It’s not a funny comedy, nor is it a good cop movie. It’s just bad. There is a very cool Ford Torino in the movie that is highly underused. Like never. Watch this movie if you like mimes, and people shooting ponies. Listen, don’t watch this movie. Just go watch “Hot Fuzz” or “Bon Cop Bad Cop” instead.