Panda Game – 2014

This is what overly confident uOttawa Gee Gees fans (hey that’s me!) look like on their way into the Panda Game – the football competition against our local university rivals, Carleton U.


Year after year we wipe the floor with them – we’ve come home with the Panda some 14 times in a row now, so it was a pretty sure thing we were walking away with it again this year. And sure enough, though we traded the lead back and forth throughout the game, we were up four points with seven seconds left on the clock – a sure thing – when THIS happened. A moment that will go down in school football infamy.

A few points of interest here – We had won. There was no time left, no downs left, there was no way they could cover that distance. We were basically waiting for the timer to run down to start partying. They break, Mills reels back for two seconds, everyone holds their breath, and he fires a Hail Mary at Behar (who covers some 55+ yards!) with basically two seconds on the clock – you can see zeroes on the scoreboard. It’s like physics is somehow bent – Mills threw it past him, Behar’s running full out and I don’t even see him looking over his shoulder. But one of our guys reaches out to knock it down and it somehow ricochets right into Behar’s open hands.

You can hear the commentator describe the shock and awe in the Ottawa stands – the crowd on our side went silent for a good five minutes. I’d be upset about the whole thing, but it was one of the most spectacular endings I’ve ever seen in a football game. So many impossible factors coming together on this play.

Troubleshooting our yard

In late spring I couldn’t take care of my yard for a few weeks – and it seemed like nature seized on the opportunity to really go off the rails. I’m not sure if I’m cursed or what, but it feels like everything that could go wrong with our yard DOES. I feel silly offering advice when my yard currently looks like a bit of a warzone, but I’ve spent a lot of time struggling to get it back in line, and had to do a ton of research – here’s a couple of tidbits that might save you some headaches.


If grubs are eating all your grass, let it grow extra long before the first cutting – that gives your roots a chance to strengthen.

Greg’s daughter came over to our place in the spring and pointed out all of our pretty yellow Dandelion flowers, the ones her dad hates. So it was on – the only way to save face in front of a kindergartener is to systematically eradicate every weed. A bunch of our neighbours use chemicals (and have stepford-perfect lawns), and we’d rather not, so we end up with one recourse – pulling them all. Do yourself a favour and invest in a standing weed extractor tool, the less you have to bend over the faster you can work. I got a rhythm going over the summer, and managed to yank most of them out of the front in under an hour per weekend while bopping to tunes on my iPod. Pull before you mow – it makes spotting and yanking weeds easier when they’re taller than your grass.

Creeping weeds are annoying to try to get out of your lawn, they spread below the threshold of your lawn mower and drown out your grass. Drag a hard garden rake over your lawn and you’ll pull it all loose – once it’s untethered from your grass it’s easy to find the core root system and pull it. You might need to re-seed afterwards, your lawn will look patchy.

Sometimes, like when you’ve got a patch of crabgrass growing, it’s just better to grab a spade and dig out the area, throw down some dirt and peat, and re-seed. New grass only takes a couple of weeks to grow, and crabgrass is relentless. I tried pulling it from a few spots over the summer and the roots left behind kept maturing back into plants. It goes to seed really quickly, too. Evil plant!


I spent ages scraping at the weeds growing between our interlock before our neighbour revealed his genius solution: You can buy a commercial flamethrower at the hardware store that does an amazing job. More commonly used in roofing applications, you can find a “weedburner” that hooks up to your propane tank and makes quick work of weeds. Keep a hose handy though – you don’t want sparks leaping up into your trees or landing on your lawn.


Black spots on my rose leaves was a condition called (suitably) “Black spot”, a fungal disease they can catch from things like tree leaves getting caught in their thorny branches. You need to pull out all the spotty leaves and spray the whole plant down (a few times) with baking soda dissolved in water. The alkalinity kills the spot spores. It may take your plant a while to come back.

Golden beetles hanging around on your leaves and in the flower bulbs are Japanese Beetles, and they’re eating your plant. They emit a scent that causes them to cluster, exfoliating whole sections of your rose bushes – but they’re very dumb and will sit still while you squish them to death. For more of a hands-off approach, spray them down with soapy water, and they’ll drop off your bushes, dead.

Halves of your rose leaves gone? You probably have green worms – little caterpillars that attack your roses in the spring while they fuel up to turn into moths. Spray them (and under your leaves) with hot, soapy water.


We had slugs everywhere this year, and they loved nibbling on our cabbages and ruining our tomatoes with holes. I wish I’d learned about Slug Pubs earlier. Fill a low dish (a pie plate, a margarine container, a plastic cup) with cheap beer and leave it buried with the lip at ground level. Slugs looooove the smell of beer, and will crawl in from all over your garden, where they promptly drink themselves to death. Pour it out on your driveway and give the birds a tasty treat. (One I dumped out had more than 20 slugs in it after just a few hours)

Earwigs are gross and seem to always be around trouble spots but I’m not convinced they d0 much damage in the garden. You can wipe them out with diatomaceous earth, but only use it when it’s dry outside. It’s like crawling over broken glass to them.

I haven’t figured out a humane way to stop bigger pests, like squirrels and rabbits. I built a cage last year, and the animals still somehow got into it. Frustrating.

Your seeds will rise a bit earlier in the season if you put them under a plastic dome, like a mini-greenhouse. You can buy domes to do this, or use the bottoms of soda bottles. This has the side benefit of protecting them from frost and pests for a little while.


Grass clippings will seem to stall out if they make up the majority of your compost bin. Be sure you’re mixing in tree leaves and other larger chunks of stuff. If you haven’t got many leaves around the yard (like us), toss in some ripped up newsprint. The acidity of the rotting paper will kickstart the rotting process again. Don’t forget to turn it!

Be sure if you’re tossing veggies into the compost, especially firm ones, that you chop them up a little beforehand. Things like corn cobs and eggplant skins seem to take forever to break down unless you give them a roughing up first.


Natasha hates drying dishes, so when it’s her turn to do the washing up I joke that she’s building a jenga pile. Usually by the time I get there with a dishcloth the heap is a teetering tower, and pulling any of the dishes is a gamble that might cause an avalanche.

It was my turn last night, and rather than dry as I went I decided I’d give her a taste of her own medicine. 🙂 This is my monument to evaporation, my masterpiece of awkward dish stacking. I like to think the dishpile as a philosophical ideal was always there, and I simply expressed it as a physical manifestation. This may be my greatest accomplishment as an artist.


I heart maps

I made a neat connection in the library map room the other day, and ended up rescuing a bunch of old geology maps that were destined for the recycle bin to use in art projects. With tools like Google maps available on everyone’s cell phones, the old printed-on-paper maps are gathering dust, I imagine soon only very few with historical significance will be spared from an end in the dumpster.

I have a history of rescuing geology maps – my aunt used to liberate cool maps for me from the throwaway bins at the Ministry of Natural Resources, where the big spool printers were constantly rolling off updated diagrams of extremely remote and exotic places.

I loved the swirls of landforms and mysterious markings – better than a lava lamp! Check out swirly lake Cawatose in La Verendrye in Québec – subject to tremendous shearing in Canada’s most ancient geological history, it looks like a giant’s thumbprint.